Mother’s Day Without Your Mum
Mother’s Day can be a joyful celebration for many families. But for those who have lost their mum, are separated by distance, or have complicated relationships, the day can feel very different.
At The Health Dispensary, we often talk about health, happiness, and Feel Good Living. Yet part of living well is recognising that some days feel raw, reflective, or bittersweet.
For those who are mums, grandmothers, daughters and sons, we wish you a warm and uplifting day celebrating everything that motherhood and nurture represent.
For those without their mum today, the day can bring mixed emotions. Many of us must find different ways of getting through it — whether we are separated from our mums through bereavement, illness, distance, or relationship breakdown.
If that is you today, you are not alone.
The First Mother’s Day Without Your Mum
For many people, the first Mother’s Day after losing their mum can feel particularly difficult.
While the world around you is celebrating, you may feel sadness, gratitude, memories, and sometimes even guilt for not feeling joyful.
All of these feelings are completely normal.
Some people find comfort in quiet remembrance — looking through photographs, cooking a favourite recipe, visiting somewhere meaningful, or simply allowing themselves a moment to reflect on the connection that still exists.
There is no right way to approach the day. What matters most is allowing yourself space to feel whatever arises.
Honouring the Connection
Not long after my mum passed away, I asked one of our counsellors for advice on how to cope with days like Mother’s Day.
Her answer came quickly and simply:
“Honouring and gracing that connection.”
The connection with our mum does not disappear when the physical person is no longer present. It continues in memories, habits, sayings, and the small ways we carry them forward.
Every loss is different, and everyone experiences grief in their own way. Personally, I take comfort in knowing that my mum lived a full life and was not taken suddenly, as sadly happens so often.
Finding Meaning in the Small Things
Over the years I have learned that sometimes we can gently shift how we look at things — even if that simply means resting today and trying again tomorrow.
If we adjust our perspective slightly, we may begin to notice small moments that remind us our mum is still with us in some way.
You don’t need to be religious or spiritual to experience this. It can simply be a form of mindfulness — noticing the tiny coincidences, familiar phrases, or comforting memories that appear throughout the day.
Often it is the smallest things we miss most.
Not the big occasions, but the everyday moments.
The quick phone calls.
The brief visits.
The simple reassurance of knowing someone is there.
My mum was never one to chat unnecessarily — she was always busy. But knowing she was there created a quiet sense of security that is hard to replace.
Without it, you can sometimes feel a little adrift.
Remembering with Humour and Strength
Of course, there are still moments of sadness — my occasional “blub-downs”.
Yet I have also realised that we can carry forward the strengths of those we have lost.
Yesterday I cleaned the house because it felt like something she would approve of. Every time I felt sorry for myself, I could almost hear her voice saying one of her favourite expressions:
“Wake up your liver bile!”
Or another classic:
“Work or starve.”
It helps that many of her sayings were wonderfully ridiculous. Even now, they still make me laugh.
That humour brings an unexpected sense of comfort and purpose.
Talking to Someone Who Isn’t There
Another thing that helps is sharing stories with others, or sometimes simply speaking directly to her.
That might start with something like:
“Dear Mum, wherever you are…”
or
“Today I could do with a little help.”
Saying these thoughts out loud can release emotions that have been building inside. It can also create a small intention for the day.
Sometimes that alone can feel surprisingly healing.
Creating New Rituals
In modern life we have lost many of the rituals that once helped people process grief and remembrance.
Aside from perhaps laying flowers on a grave, we do not always have shared ways of marking these moments.
Creating a simple ritual of your own can help.
It might be cooking a favourite recipe, visiting somewhere meaningful, planting flowers, lighting a candle, or spending time in nature.
Yesterday, quite unexpectedly, someone placed a tiny lamb into my arms. Holding that small creature created a sudden sense of connection with nature and motherhood itself.
In that moment, I felt surrounded by something gentle and reassuring.
Carrying Traditions Forward
Today I will attempt to make Welsh cakes.
This could be ambitious.
My mum’s Welsh cakes were legendary. Tins of them travelled with family members and friends to universities and distant shores.
Her recipe was never written down. It was something she simply knew by feel.
So today I will try.
And in trying to recreate them, I will remember that love does not disappear.
It continues — in traditions, memories, and the stories we pass on.
What Is Mothering Sunday?
Mothering Sunday, also known as Mother’s Day in the UK, is held on the fourth Sunday of Lent.
Mother’s Day 2026 falls on March 15th.
It takes place exactly three weeks before Easter Sunday and usually falls in the second half of March or early April.
For many families it is a day of celebration. For others it can also be a day of reflection and remembrance.
Both experiences are completely valid.
If Today Feels Difficult
Grief can affect the whole person — our sleep, mood, energy, and emotional wellbeing. If Mother’s Day feels overwhelming, it may help to talk to someone you trust.
Support is also available through organisations such as:
• NHS mental health support services
• Samaritans (116 123)
• Mind UK
• Local bereavement support groups
You can find confidential help and advice here:
A Final Thought
Mother’s Day can bring joy, sadness, gratitude, or sometimes a mixture of all three.
However you experience the day, remember that the connections we have with the people we love do not simply vanish.
They evolve.
Sometimes they appear in a familiar phrase, a shared memory, a recipe passed down through generations, or an unexpected moment of warmth.
And in those moments, the bond continues.
Written by Ali Sparkes
Ali Sparkes is an independent pharmacist prescriber and founder of The Health Dispensary in Neath, South Wales. She has over 30 years of experience in community pharmacy and is passionate about helping people achieve better wellbeing through a whole-health approach.
